At a basic level, I’m not a fan of movie remakes. It is quite rare that the remake is better than the original. However, sometimes a movie exists beyond the film itself as an Idea, in the Platonic allegory of the cave sense. In that way, even the original movie is but a shadow of the ideal. And in those cases, I believe remakes could be justified, because they give us a glimpse of what could lie beyond the mouth of the cave.
Did I lose you? Sorry. On with the movie remakes!
Ok, maybe this wouldn’t be a remake. You could call it a sequel or a reboot of the franchise.
The original Cannonball Run came out in 1981 and had a sequel in 1984. It featured Burt Reynolds, Dom DeLuise, Farrah Fawcett, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., and many many more celebrities. A young Jackie Chan was even in it in a small role.
This type of comedic action movie would do really well in the theaters. Think Fast and the Furious, but with comedy replacing all the bad acting and melodrama. Who wouldn’t love a cross country race full of famous faces, as stars or cameos?
I would bring Burt Reynolds back for the remake, maybe as the race organizer. With him, I’d bring in Dom DeLuise’s three kids. David DeLuise is pretty well known amongst the teens and tweens from his role as the dad on Disney Channel’s Wizards of Waverly Place. He could even take up the mantle of Captain Chaos. Michael and Peter have also been pretty active acting and directing. Bring in some NASCAR drivers, and a bunch of current celebs, and it should be an instant hit.
Of course, we could also go ahead with remakes of Smokey and the Bandit and Stroker Ace, too…
I’m sure a remake of this would be controversial. The original holds it own. So maybe this should also be a sequel. I’ve heard it suggested that this could be the adventures of the kids of the original characters. I think that would be great. Would One Eyed Willie only have had one place to hide his treasure? Where did the Inferno end up after it sailed out of the cave? Or maybe this is could be a prequel – how did the map come to be in the attic? It could even be a period pirate film – Mikey calls him “the first Goonie.” There’s your title right there.
The film would need to stand on its own for the current generation, but still have nostalgic touches for the parents (like me) of the current generation.
The Black Hole
There was a rumor that Disney was remaking this, but I haven’t heard anything recently. I remember this movie fondly from my childhood, but tried to watch it with my son and we couldn’t get through it. I think this film really ends where it should have begun… entering a black hole and encountering… well, let’s just say weird stuff. But the mix of cute robots, even robots, a girl with ESP, and space can be the setup for a much better film. Let’s have them deal with the Cygnus villains in the first act of the movie, entering the black hole in the second act, and leave the third act for exploring the other side. There’s franchise potential there for sequels if it does well.
Michael Keaton was great in Mr. Mom. With the economy being the way it is now, a remake of this film would really resonate. Just don’t let someone like Adam Sandler or Steve Carell ruin it. This needs to be cast against type, without someone known for slapstick. How about Joseph Gordon-Levitt? (I think Jason Segel would be great, though.)
So, readers, what do you think? Hate these ideas? Ready to get them made? Or do you have your own movies you’d like to see remade?