My Ugly Couch

Over the weekend, I was given a new couch.

It is like new, in perfect shape. It was in a vacation home that was sold furnished, and the new owners didn’t want it. They offered it to me. It’s a sleeper-sofa/hide-a-bed/sofa-bed, which is great if I have company come and visit.

The only problem? It is ugly.

I’m going to show you some pictures.

DISCLAIMER: Viewers assume full risk for viewing this couch. May cause nausea, vomiting, and blindness. Owner cannot be held responsible.

Note that it doesn’t really fit in this room right now. It’s where I want it to go, though. I need to rearrange the furniture and then it should be fine.

I believe this flowery pattern is called Florida Emetic.

But the flash isn’t on in that picture, so you don’t really see it in it’s full glory.

What am I supposed to do with this?

Should I try a slipcover? It’s a hideabed, so slipcovers for them are hard to find, and they’re pricey. Would a slipcover fit those cushions?

I want to reupholster it. Do you think I can do it myself? I’ve seen like every episode of Trading Spaces, including Trading Spaces: Boys vs. Girls, so I know how to reupholster things on a budget to make things look new. Do you think I can do it? The back “pillows” of the couch are stitched, not removeable. Can I sew new cushion covers for those L shaped ones?

And what color goes with the colors in the room? It’s a bright blue on the walls and rich wood molding, closet doors, etc. that all match those blinds. The white “curtains” I picked just because they were neutral for now. Those can be redone, too.

Do I have another option? Could I paint the sucker?

Check out the closeup:

What do you think?

And if you happen to be good at reupholstering sleeper-sofas… I have a place for you to stay if you’ll come help!


17 responses to “My Ugly Couch

  1. catastrophegirl

    actually i used to have a queen sized sleeper sofa and i found that a sure fit slipcover worked pretty darn well on it.
    if you do this, it’s important to own a broomstick or get a length of pvc pipe. you put it behind the seat cushions to keep the slipcover tucked in
    they didn’t have these last time i bought but their website now says they also have cushion covers.
    so if you don’t want to reupholster it yourself, looks like you have plenty of choices.
    my mom used to reupholster the living room sofa every few years. make sure you have a good staple gun

    • Oh, and even with it fitting, to pull out the bed, I’d have to remove the slipcover, it seems. That’s no good. Custom ones for the sleeper sofas have a zipper at the back. Sure-fit doesn’t sell those.

  2. catastrophegirl

    oh and yes you could paint it but that much fabric paint it likely to be more expensive than a slipcover

    • How much fabric paint do you think I would need? The Sure-fit slip cover for it would be over $100.

      • catastrophegirl

        not sure, never tried to paint a whole couch. the cheapest fabric paints are about $20 a quart. and the texture isn’t going to be the most comfy.
        dyeing it would be more effective but super messy without removing the fabric and it would likely stain later.
        if you decide to reupholster, remove the fabric carefully and use it as a pattern.

  3. that’s really bad… I’ve reupholstered chairs and that was a lot of work. And probably not my best work. I’m sure you could do it, but a couch would be really hard. I think.

  4. Oh.DEAR.GAWD. I’m blind.

  5. I think that should be your new Twitter avatar.

  6. Slipcover. or Ruler or PVC pipe in back. You can tuck the front with the elastic band on slipcover. How often will it be pulled out? Go for everyday comfort and convenience.

    Neutral color with color pops on throw and pillows you can change out as mood strikes.

    Good luck.

  7. Also you can throw a slipcover in the wash. The chenille are soft. Maybe a deep taupe. Might be too much yellow in that blue for chocolate brown.

  8. Pingback: My Ugly Couch Revisited | Random Acts of Coffee

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